I am a winer and occasionally a whiner. In this blog I will write about all my wining experiences (and occasionally whine about the wine horror stories, yes they do exist!). I will review and describe in detail all the good, the bad, and the ugly wines, and provide my own rating system, which is much simpler than the Wine Spectator, et al (and what does 92 points really mean anyway??).

As I am also a writer, be prepared for the long-winded sentences of wine description, and the use of many a metaphor in my wining adventures.

Swirl, sniff, sip, and enjoy!



Tuesday, June 21, 2011

The Wines I Hate

Taking my sister's advice and using negative energy for writing, I dedicate this blog posting to the wines that cause me to shudder and pour them out like a spoiled vinegar. (Can vinegar actually be spolied?)  Anyway, after being disappointed at another wine tasting class, I think it't time to let it be known - I just don't like some wines.  Now, maybe I'm a wine freak instead of being a wine geek, but some of the wines I will mention here will surprise you.

1.  Rhone Valley.  I haven't tasted many of them, but those that I did were enough to turn me off the whole region.  I can't even describe their taste, but I always know that particular tar? dirt? skunk? that distinguishes Rhone wines for me.  I have yet to taste the raspberry and pepper in the syrah.  The earthy finish is more like a wet Russian village dirt that lingers forever and leaves me with the bitter medicinal aftertaste.  White, red, rose - it doesn't matter - they all have the taste of a tree bark, reminiscent of a horrible herbal cough medicine I had to take as a child when I had bronchitis. 

2.  Oregon.  What's up with that?  I think Oregon pinot noirs are totally overrated.  And other Oregon varietals are overpriced and mediocre.  A gentleman wisely described one of the cabs at a wine tasting class as "monochromatic", and I totally agree.  All of the Oregon wines that I tried were just that.  No wonder I was underwhelmed by an Oregon pinot at a classy wine bar "The Wine Thief", where I was hoping to score a good glass for the money they charge.  Although fruity (if overly so), the wines from this region lack finesse and pizzazz.

3.  Californian Chardonnays.  Fruity, like drinking an apple cinnamon pie with butter on top.  Too much into your face, Californain wines are probably designed for Americans only, who don't know what a nice sophisticated chardonnay is supposed to be.  I will choose Burgundy any time over any Californian chard, and indeed have already, provided it costs around $40.  I only hope that the famous Montelena, chardonnay which was the first to win over the French ones, tasted upscale and classy.

4.  Australian Shiraz.  Yes, I know I'm weird, but I hate Australian shiraz! And I tasted shiraz from many regions, every time preferring the ones that are not from Australia.  The strong acidity and heavy smoke is what turns me off in Australian shiraz.  I much prefer a good old French, or South American syrah, lighter and fruitier, but still with a little spicy punch.  No heavy headachey feeling, which the Australian ones evoke in my imagination.

5.  Beaujolais/ Beaujolais Nouveau.  Although it has a beautiful ring to it, the beaujolais has nothing else beautiful, except its name.  Three words: cheap, watery, vinegar.  Time and time again, I have come to the conclusion, that if one drinks French, one has to shell out some cash.  Cheap French wine is the worst thing in the world, responsible for depressive thoughts about the uselessness of life, which only a bad wine can bring.  No matter how hard I tried to be open-minded about the beaujolais, I could not befriend it.  We just didn't hit it off.

All in all, this list has only started, since I'm new to the world of wine.  I'm sure I'll infuriate more people with my bizarre choices as I taste more and more regions and grapes of the world.  For now, this is my story, and I'm sticking to it.